How do you know it's already being negotiated

Everyone negotiates an average of five to seven times per day. You negotiate every time someone wants something from you as soon as they put the first demand on the table. It is the royal discipline of communication working with all its facets — verbal and nonverbal. By its very nature, it is two-way.

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Negotiation occurs when you and your life partner or partner have a common goal, you depend on each other, but you have a different perspective on the situation. You get into a conflict, but you have to find a common solution.

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Conflicts help us improve lives, eventually you fall in love with them. The problem is never the conflict itself. The problem can only arise in how you approach it and how you solve it. It is therefore very important to respect the point of view of the counterparty. You do not have to accept it, just do not evaluate it and do not judge it.

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When you have a conflict with a person on the opposite side, it does not mean that he is your enemy. It means that you have a different point of view and that you need to agree, that is, to find a common solution. On the other side sits your ally, who also wants to find a common solution. Otherwise, he wouldn't negotiate with you. He depends on you, he needs you.

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Try to imagine negotiating with someone you don't need and don't have to agree with. What would such a negotiation look like? How would you approach him? To what extent would you negotiate seriously? In what way would you strive for the best possible outcome? With what respect would you treat a person on the other side? Think of it that negotiating to the test, just to see if it will or will not work for us, is very dangerous and severely damages relationships.

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So sit down at the negotiating table only when you really need a person at the opposite pole to achieve your goals. If you're just going to try it, out of heck, you're making the person on the other side a jerk. In addition, try to put yourself in a situation where someone else is making a fool of you.

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Leigh Thompson, in his book “The Mind and Heart of the Negotiator”, offers an interesting definition:

“Negotiation is an interpersonal decision. “

In other words, you have some decisions, on the other hand, they also have some decisions, and together you need to put them together to achieve the best possible result.

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People very often confuse negotiation with trading. However, these are two different things. Even businessmen often do not know how to distinguish business meetings and negotiations from each other. In trading, you need to lure the customer to a product or service. They need to get a taste for them. Therefore, you tell him all the benefits and arguments. You stimulate his enthusiasm.

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The moment the person on the other side tells you, “Okay, everything you do is cool, but it's expensive,” he started negotiating. If he hadn't started negotiating, he would have left. He would just say, “That's expensive. Goodbye. “But he stayed seated, which is the first signal that he needs you, that he wants something. They began to negotiate. You don't trade anymore because they opened a conflict.